Sunday, September 13, 2009

Something you don't care about but I do.

WWE's Breaking Point Pay Per View predictions. 

Big problems for Pro Wrestling's largest company these days, and tomorrow's pay per view looks to be no exception. The easiest way to understand things is to look at them by brand. WWE (formerly WWF) has 3 brands, Monday Night Raw, Friday Night Smackdown, and Tuesday Night ECW. They are supposed to be in that order but in recent months Smackdown has been the most interesting, proven by the most recent pay-per-view headlining wrestlers from Smackdown in the main event. 

ECW is fun, but a televised minor league version at best. The ECW roster was gutted of it's 8 best wrestlers this year, and only has 13 active male wrestlers on their roster, so they are rebuilding, I'm optimistic they'll be interesting again, just not now. 

Smackdown has just lost it's most popular babyface (good guy), who finished his contract, decided to step away from the ring for a spell, and then was promptly arrested for drug trafficking, while it's second most popular babyface is serving a 30 day drug suspension. Good news is the Undertaker is back after a 6 month hiatus. 

Raw is just boring. same gimmick every week, same 3 heels (bad guys) same 3 babyfaces, bleh.

And then there's this new pay-per-view where the gimmick is main events (3 matches) are by submission only. And 3 of wrestlings biggest babyfaces are in these matches. It's nearly impossible to think of any of them getting submitted by the bad guys, which means this is shaping up to be pretty boring. A mid-level championship belt (intercontinental, think the #2 belt of Smackdown) match was cancelled so both up and coming fighters could continue to grow their reputations without the tarnish of a pay-per-view submission loss on their young records. That match was replaced with Raw's mid-level belt (US championship) match between a ridiculous Jamaican babyface and an even more ridiculous (and therefore likeable) heel. This is not a difficult match to predict. At any rate here are my predictions, I mostly just wanted to see them written down so I could compare after the fact. 

Khali def. Kane (singapore Cain match) (please lets end this storyline, Khali can't wrestle he's just big and from India)

Kofi Kingston def. The Miz (not if I was in charge, wouldn't be surprised if it was won by submission, even though it's not a stipulation)

Jericho and Big Show def. Mark Henry and MVP (retain both tag-team belts, why are there two sets of belts when there are only 4 dedicated tag teams across all 3 brands of the WWE?)

William Regal def. Christian (to win the ECW championship, it's high time a heel holds this belt, Christian is one of the most boring personalities in any of these shows, whereas Regal appears to be a stoned gay mentally ill man who thinks he is a long lost tudor or something like that. He also has a 300 pound russian and a giant black bodybuilder escorting him everywhere. Christian's friend is a fat guy from New York who likes hot dogs, he only accompanies Christian sometimes.

DX def. Legacy. perhaps the most popular stable/tag team of all time, DX is not going to lose in a submission match on a pay-per-view.

Randy Orton def. John Cena ('I quit' match) (after Cena goes on and on about his tirades and his courage loyalty and hustle, and his ranting and raving about how he'll never quit, this would be a perfect time to stop being super boring as RAW's biggest babyface has the opportunity to show a character flaw and possibly even turn heel. It's brilliant, but it'll never happen)

Undertaker def. CM Punk (submission match) Can anyone imagine the undertaker tapping? Interestingly enough, however, the Undertaker has never won a major match by his near 20 year career in the WWE. 

Sorry for boring you. I really can't afford to scare anyone off this blog since I'm not sure if ANYONE reads it, ah well. 

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